Second Adjustment and Sexy Costume Hotness

I got dressed up this weekend to go to a few parties on Saturday night. I slipped into a long black skirt, a black corset, a shoulder length blunt cut black wig, and had my makeup looking fierce; and I have to say, for the first time in a while...I didn't feel like the F. A. T. girl in the room. It was tremendous.

It's not like a girl wants to be ogled. No one likes feeling like they're being felt up by someone's eyes, but honestly, some of the attention felt pretty good. It's like when you're walking down the street, and you notice the construction men looking, or even just the random guy who turns his head. When you're f.a.t., you know they're not looking at you, and you know why. If you see a guy look, you turn your head too to see who it is they're really looking at, expecting to see some gorgeous, lithe woman walking near to you, and there usually is. So on Saturday, that attention felt pretty damn nice.

Friday afternoon brought me fill #2, and I was toting the xanax long before my 3:30 appointment rolled around. I was the last patient of the day. My doc had the office staff squeeze me in after I lost restriction quickly following the first fill and gained a couple of pounds back. On my way to the office, strolling down 5th Ave., about 30 feet away from the door I saw a couple walking in my direction. A large-framed woman and her larger-framed husband (?). She had the tell-tale folder of the bariatric center I go to, and an arm full of papers and pamphlets. Clearly pre-op, but which one of them? Or both? I smiled when I saw them, thinking of my first few steps after my consultation appointment, the excitement, and trepidation, and had a sudden urge to reach out to them. I wanted to grab both their arms and tell them what a God-send this surgery is...that they were making the best decision of their lives, not to be scared, and there were so many of us going through exactly what they were feeling. But I kept walking until I got to the door of my doc's office and sat on the chair waiting for my name to be called.

The room was full, which meant a long wait ahead of me, but somehow at this doc's office I don't mind so much. About an hour in, I got invited into the back and did my usual- hopped out of the pants and shoes, got on the scale and winced- hoping for good things. I had gained 5 pounds since my last fill, but lost two before the appointment, which meant I had a total 3 pound increase over the low weight I had been in right after my first fill. You see, my doc (rightfully so) won't adjust you when you're losing more than 2 lbs per week, so when I went in after my first fill for a second, I was initally turned away.

OK- back from tangent. I was introduced to (a very youthful) med student who was learning about a bariatric practice and had seen a patient who was thinking about surgery, a pre-op, and now me, the post-op guinea pig. He was very nice, and prodded me with some questions about post-surgery loss while my doc was out of the room. My doc came back and showed him how to locate the port. It's funny the difference between a confident doc and a nervous med student. He barely touched me. I had to reassure him it was ok to push...I think I even might have told him he wasn't pushing hard enough to find it in my Xanax induced haze.

I closed my eyes and got my jabs of lidocaine, which seemed to go quicker this time, and then the big needle was brought over. Doc found it immediately this time and filled me with a total of 7.5 cc's. Some from before, and some new. It was quick, and SO MUCH easier than the first terror-filled half-over of pain and huff-puffing.

I felt the new restriction almost immediately, the slowness with which anything I was eating or drinking went down; and yes, there are definitely foods I avoid now that I could eat with no problem pre-adjustment. I was happy with my surgery before...100% glad I did it, but now, with what feels like proper restriction, I'm ecstatic with the portions I'm feeling satisfied with and seeing the scale drop little by little.

I put on my winter coat for the first time in a long time this week. It feels 2 sizes too big!